Not a villa in the traditional sense; in the dark central corridor with small high-ceilinged rooms jutting off and a maidenhair fern pedestaled drawing room in the front for receiving guests, the dim light heavy lace curtains behind heavier curtains, and a small dimly-lit kitchen with the novelty of running water and maybe some oil lighting I guess. But Haw Par Villa did have a villa on it once, this Art Deco paradise mansion has a bit of a history.
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| Looking like a cross between any generic art deco villa and Borobudur, this graceful villa did not stand the test of time. |
1. It was made by the Tiger Balm bros. The older one built it for the younger one.
2. Like Pearl Harbour, it was destroyed by the Japanese during the Second World War. Unlike Pearl
harbour, they have not yet made a blockbuster movie about it starring Josh Hartnett and Kate Beckinsale.
3. In its place is... well to be fair, it is hard to know where its place was. It wasn't exactly clear where the Villa stood to the casual visitor, or the serious Haw Par Villa fan. It definitely wasn't the kind of thoughtful curatorial approach that the Haw Par Villa management (currently the Singapore Government) thought was appropriate, even though there were informative information boards all over the show, mainly about the Chinese folklore tales being depicted.
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| You won't see this at Disneyland |
In its place is now a sprawling, acid nightmare of a theme park. There are no rides here, only hellish visions into your destiny after death and lots of animals doing things that animals shouldn't do. If you want to see an deceitful goose husband being pulled back into his filial responsibilities by his angry goose wife, this is the place. If you want haunting depictions of mercrabs, lady crabs or crab ladies; that is crabs with a beautiful woman's face, you need to get on the next flight to Singapore.
The story that left the deepest emotion in both of our hearts was one concrete depiction of the tale of two boys. Deep in the forest they meet a bear. One friend runs away from a marauding bear leaving his other friend to be eaten by the bear, however this friend plays dead and the bear eats the runner. It was this sort of poignant moral lesson that the Tiger Balm bros hoped to leave for the people of Singapore, and we are glad they did.
It was quite a sad experience as there were no postcards. The woman in the giftshop did try and sell us Tiger Balm, as we no longer do any sport Tiger Balm has become superfluous. She also was playing a hard rock version of Mariah Carey "Always Be My Baby" and as we left the plaintive melody of that precious song rang out through the ferro concrete jungle of Haw Par Villa
Needless to say we have found our dream wedding venue. To get there you do have to walk through the ten stages of hell; but it will be worth it, both figuratively and literally.
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| If I had been turned into a crab, I would be as happy too. |
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| Like an even sadder version of Watership Down, including a stagnant pool of water. |
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| In hell for cheating on his exams. |
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When you die remember that somewhere in the ten stages of hell this guy is putting that pole
somewhere that is not very nice. |
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| It seriously got more and more inventive the further you went along, as if they were playing a game. Except this game is possibly deadly serious for some people. |
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| If you play your cards right, you might also be thrown onto a hill of knives. |
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| When you got out of the cave you made it to this paradisical garden, except even the paradisical garden managed to be really confronting. At least this poignant scene was a welcome respite from the ten stages of hell. |
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| And if all else fails, appeal to the Australian crowd. |
